The Love of my Life, and the bitch who owes me a lap dance.

My BFF and I are connected at the hip.  Hers is much lower to the ground though, and she has to pee every two hours, which has become like a confusing twister game because she is also loosing her sight a bit.  Sadie is my one and only forever love.  She is 91 (13 times 7) but in her Chihuahua\greyhound mind, much younger.  We have been through everything, including, but not limited to one marriage, one divorce, near-death and legally dead, and transcontinental travels.  I saved her life one time when #2 dumbass left the generator in the garage when hurricane Jeanne blew out the power for 2 1\2 weeks back in 2004  I had to revive her with puppy CPR, as she was not breathing, loosing bodily functions in my arms, and my 3 kids were screaming bloody murder as their only pet showed all signs of checking out.  Just like a scene from the movie "Defending your life" where Meryl Streep's character rescues and comforts her children from their home engulfed in flames.  The vet said it was probable she would have kidney or liver damage, but so far, so good, and I thank The Almighty every day for her. 

Not her best mug shot.  By far.  But what should I expect, she just woke up. 

 

To my delight, #2 has managed to land another maiditute.  I couldn't be happier!  This one is quite fat, which means she must be able to cook, so he will get fat also! Bonus!  However, she seemed to be a small minded heifer as well, because she wrote me an email telling me what kind of a person I was, like I didn't already know.  Maybe she is an expert or something.  Doubtful, but possible.  Anyway, she was living with her parents but cooked her way into moving in with #2 and tagging her teenage daughter in as well.  Now, #2 WAS a car salesman when we met 20 years ago, and by the time I left his lazy ass he was running the dealership.  Does she think he got there on his own merit?  His exact words were 'I didn't know I could until you told me.'  So, I ask you, what kind of thank you should I be expecting?  A cup of coffee, at least, but knowing his aficionado for strip clubs, I am gonna go with lap dance.  But I would settle for a simple bending over and kissing my size 4 ass.  Its only a matter of time, gurlfriend, until he is back online chatting with women acting like he is a lesbian, and wanting you to do something with his finger you will have nightmares about.  Maybe I shouldn't tell her these things.  No one told me! 

Going out to get high.  Back later with your drug induced Words of Twaddle.