Saturday, January 11, 2014

The Prohibition has been lifted!

Why are you reading this instead of packing up your worldly belongings (bong) and roadtripping to Colorado, the guinea pig of democracy?  If you have been too buzzed to read, weed is now legal, but only in the Rocky Mountain High Life.
If you are still reading, congratulations.  You are ready to move to the rankings of druggie.  Here's how I did.  I met what I thought was the man of my dreams.  Turns out he is a sociopath, and love is blind.  He asks me to quit my job because he will take care of me and my kids "financially" forever.  Sounds good so far, right? No job, so no need for a car.  Drop my son at his father's house.  Four years later, I am living in Medellin talking to my son on skype once a week, doing a gram of coke a day, and reminding myself how dumb I am on an hourly basis.  To think I left my family and our dream home 8 years ago for this.  If you ever have a chance to pick brains or brawn, pick brains.  Wait until I finish my memoir.  Chalk full of 45 years of brilliance and insight.
So that's all there is to it.  Drop everything and move to Colombia where you can:  Live like a king on half the expenses.  Do whatever you want.  And be taken advantage of at every turn.  At least we can all relax knowing the guerrillas aren't in control any more.
Anyone have an extra ticket to Denver?
I hope to be in a better (more intoxicated) state of mind tomorrow.  Three beers and no play makes Lori...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsdgajdstnvasdgn

No comments:

Post a Comment